Monday, November 07, 2005

Who's cock of this walk?

I dislike Christmas. And (in case you're considering it) Grinch jokes about people who dislike Christmas. But there is one good thing to be said for the entire season -

They put out the joke slippers for big people and I am addicted to those slippers. They are feet puppets, pet-substitutes who never incur vet bills.

My gorillas are matted and, well, a little smelly. Besides, my friend Weedy says they scare the shit out of her every time she comes in. The cows that started this, fuzzy acrylic beauties with horns and big brown eyes, long ago departed for that great slipper yard in the sky.

Today I bought roosters. I plan to wear something a little sleazy the next time the Scorpio comes to call. Something black and lacy with impractical (or no) underwear beneath it and I’ll sport my roosters, complete with their little blue vests and combs, their yellow beaks and red wattles.

I think of this outfit as my contribution to truth in advertising.