Thursday, December 29, 2005

Election minute

I’m minding my own business, playing a game of Mahjong while I wait for the entire rest of the building to finish using the dryers.

And the phone rings.

“Hi, I’m Blah Blah, your Liberal candidate and you need...,” he begins in that hearty, I’m-your-best-pal voice. It takes me ten words to understand he has the temerity to interrupt my day with a recorded announcement.


Oh no, fella.

See. This is the problem, White Men in Suits. This is the exact problem with you and your counterparts (including the female White Men in Suits). You begin by assuming you know what I need. And you’re so confident that you don’t even allow for the possibility of asking. A recorded announcement? Do you know how
repellant that is?

What I need, fella, is to see decent affordable housing being built for the people I’m stepping over in the street. Now. And what I need is less than a year of waiting if I need surgery. I need to stop seeing single parents penalized by Social Assistance for trying to further their educations so they can get decent jobs. I need to see university tuitions stop putting people in lifelong debt. You could consider a few less tax grabs and a little more responsibility too, if you can find the time. And that’s just for starters, guys.

What I really need is for you to get over your pompous ass and start asking people what they think they need. What I need is to know you’ve stopped assuming and started understanding you represent my voice – not yours. I need to stop hearing, every other day, how you’ve had your manicured fingers in the collective cookie jar and how you’re sharing the cookies with all your friends. I need to hear that one of you, just once, does prison time with the other thieves when you get caught.

And if you can manage that kind of paradigm shift maybe I’ll be willing to listen to you.