Saturday, May 27, 2006

Self portrait. No dance.



I have mourned
the insidious etching
of
my own history –
laughter
grief and tears

58 years,
skin
capitulating to gravity.
Jaw line
loosening.
Neck no longer taut,
eyelids no longer smooth.
The spidery markings
on my upper lip.

This time don't
Photoshop it.

Don’t
light it.

I pick the one

that shows the
wearing
of my life.

After all -

I love
and am loved
in exactly
this face.

It gives me courage.
And besides -

“Be happy – promise -” he says,
“if I die before you.
Remember this. Don’t grieve.
The thing I've learned
from death is
mourning
is
ungrateful.”

13 comments:

beadbabe49 said...

just absolutely wonderful...have you considered a self published chapbook with your own photos added? (can you add photos to a chapbook, I wonder?)

Katie said...

Beautiful, LJ. Not only you, but the poetry as well. I am always struck and dismayed when people n our society change the natural course that time and charachter display on our faces and bodies. In an age of botox, tucks, and liposuction, it is heartening to see a person embrace what makes them naturally a human being. Not being embarrased by it, or altering it. This is what true beauty really is. I hope that when I am a bit older, I still appreciate this fact. Bravo to you! You have such a sense of self. A quality I admire greatly.

Jamie

herhimnbryn said...

Lovely LJ,
You and your post! It resonates so much with me at the moment as I have finally posted a pic of me ( and the Bear!).
Yr poetry is still lingering in the back room of my brain!

LJ said...

BB - thanks for thinking it might be worthwhile. Maybe when I retire. Oh, I'm hoping Zhoen is wrong about retirement meaning never having a day off. There's so much I'd love to do.
AG - I have to admit there are times when I've actually thought it would be nice...a little tuck, a little nip...but then I think about the money and pain factor...and also about the faces I've seen that have had a little too much "help." And believe me, there will be days you don't appreciate aging much...but there's an up-side, too. And all things considered, I wouldn't trade my lines or my life.
Thanks for the comments...always appreciated.

Zee said...

You look like you are truly you. There is beauty abound in your expressions. Thanks for sharing.

Teri said...

you are so incredibly beautiful!

Jewels said...

Who on earth would want to look like a smoothed out Bearded Dragon anyway? And all those expressionless faces, they look like a sea of uncaring souls... It creeps me out frankly...

Love your blog. Thanks for stopping by LJ

Jess said...

So glad you finally got some time to post (and then some more, and some more, and...) Hope you're over the hump now, as far as the extra work is concerned.

Love the poem and the portrait. Enjoyed the other posts as well. I don't mean to be terse, just have a lot on my plate at the moment, but still doing my best to keep up with the good stuff!

LJ said...

Not over the hump, Jess. Just compulsive (along with whiney). Terse is fine. A stone is fine!

LJ said...

Jewels, Zee, Teri...thank you. I think it's the first time I actually looked hard at the signs and lines and didn't wince.
It was just ok, for some reason. Just what is. And I never could buy that "make friends with your crow's feet" stuff...so it happened without conscious effort.

phlegmfatale said...

Beautiful words. Beautiful you. In that face, perfection.

Mella said...

This is the most beautiful picture you've put up here. And the words as well, they're perfect.

LJ said...

A very late thank you PF and Mella!