Woof

This piece of doggerel began forming in my mind as we headed into week two of steady rain, fog and cold with - according to saddistic weather experts - little relief in sight. Here in Nova Scotia, complaining about weather is nearly an art form because we get so much practice. For example:

Wearing a facial expression that suggests imminent suicide, “Nice weather, huh?”

“Have you heard the forecast? They’re saying the whole summer is going to be like this. The doors in my place haven’t shut properly for a month.”

“I know. And the sheets feel damp when you get into bed. The laundry never dries. And my allergies.”

“Oh. It’s a bad allergy season. And there’s that flu going around…”

“My cousin had that flu. He’s in Intensive Care now….”

"Have you heard we have those ticks now? The ones that cause Lime's Disease?"

My train of thought goes from Bloody Stupid Weather to Bloody Stupid Glove Pattern (and how to solve my design problems). I think, when I get this part done, I’ll be much less stressed…

My apologies for the following. But a little chant started in my Monkey Mind after that and I ended up laughing at how stupidly our brains function…

My brain…How stupidly my brain functions. I’ll accord the rest of you more credit.


if i had a better job
or could sell this house
or
if i could live in another…

if i could trust that certain friend
or find a perfect lover…

if the sun would shine
if the rain would finally come
if the lilacs would bloom
if it would only
snow…

if my nose was smaller
or i were just a little taller
or could stick to a diet…

if the mail would come on time
or my the neighbors would
keep quiet…

if the prices weren’t so high
the distance not so great
the hour not so late…

if i were just more clever
if i worked out more
and changed my hair,
if my eyes were green
instead of blue…

if i could take back
my mistakes
and
the wrong i did to you…

if i was smarter,
wiser,
thinner,
richer,
younger,
kinder,
more a saint
and less a sinner…

i would be happy
then.