Thursday, August 16, 2007

The blue pill makes you smaller

"It's Nancy from Spryfield Medicine. I'm sorry, I should have caught this while you were here, but the doctor needs to see you about your tests results. When are you available?" Half an hour ago. Half an hour ago I was sitting in the doctor's office, fully available.
"Well, Nancy, I'm just kicking back enjoying time off with Shingles, so my schedule is pretty open."
"Monday, at 11:00?"
"Nancy, she said the office wouldn't call unless something was wrong and I really would like not to wait four days to find out what. Else."
"Something with the urine test. I don't think it's urgent." Jesus, what now? Kidney failure?

This is what you get for letting your immune system kiss the dirt.

Turns out, in a rarely dispensed follow-up mercy-call, the doctor has the office advise me that it could be a minor bladder infection. Am I having symptoms? Nothing I can't live with. And besides, the doctor has just increased the dosage of antivirals from 1,000 mg. a day to 3,000 mg. and these are nasty little babies. I'm swallowing six blue horse pills a day and twice that many vitamins and I'm strangely put off the idea of adding a prescription for bladder infection.

I was hoping for a nice mild attack of Shingles if I had to have any at all, but it seems four or so nerve paths are involved in the party and I am beginning to look like a plague victim. The good news is that I am young for my age (the doctor's opinion) and very unlikely to have paralyzing pain for months after this clears. Good. And the lesions, now that I'm on the right dosage of drug, should start clearing up before I have to wear a burka.

Meanwhile, whether its the virus or the cure for the virus, I am operating like an out-of-sync film. Which is to say, my thoughts are trailing about five inches behind my body, my head feels like a floatation device, and my feet are not quite touching the floor when I walk.

But there's always an up side, isn't there? If I can still whine, I must still be here. I have zero appetite and my diet is solely small amounts of healthy food so there will be weight loss. Oh. And The Cat is very happy to have a private sofa with massage feature 24 hours a day.

Thanks everyone, for the kind comments on the last entry.


Koru's Daughter said...

Oh sweetie. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

LJ said...

Hi KD. Thanks, pal.

zhoen said...

Well, as long as the Cat benefits.

phlegmfatale said...

Well, I see I'm not the only one with a recent health crisis. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this crap. Perhaps the cat's purpose in arriving was to be your constant companion at this time. I needed to be in the hospital all last week, but the whole time I was there, I kept thinking I'd heal faster if I had my little fur hot water bottle next to me. Blessings to you, and godspeed the healing, darling.

LJ said...

Zhoen, you must have been talking to the cat have you? This is precisely what he thinks!
Hi Phlegmy! I just read up on your recent hospital experience - So godspeed the healing to you too. Hope you're feeling more like normal now - and yes, the cat helps. I've started calling him "the inhouse angel" because he's forsaken his beloved rocker and has been beside me almost every minute since I got sick.

Kate said...

Sounds miserable...rather you than me! ;) Just kidding. Hope you feel better soon!

beadbabe49 said...

Just got home from chuck's surgery to find you've been getting shingles behind my back!
Now we're ALL agreed that getting older ain't for sissies, but I'm wondering just who it IS for?
Only stoics and masochists need apply?
(hugs...gingerly given...;)

Lucas said...

get well, LJ. At least you still have your sense of humor.

herhimnbryn said...

I'd hug you, but it would probably hurt! Rest lj and keep taking the tablets.

Darkmind said...

There is no cure for a virus. All you can do is mask symptoms until the virus runs its course. You know...not to burst your bubble or anything. But don't be alarmed. Shingles is really just chicken pox virus that have lied dormant in your spinal ganglia all these years...waiting...hoping for the perfect moment to strike. When the aged immune sysytem, combined with physical and emotional stress would provide the optimum opportunity to strike! BWA HA HA HA HA!!! Feel better, LJ. We need you to survive this one...

LJ said...

Kate - you aren't in much danger for some time yet!
BB - I don't know WHO it's for, but I'd like an alternative to this.
Lucas - Hi love. Thanks. Sense of humor took quite a dive for about a week, but it's slowly coming back.
H - Rest is about all you can do. Flat out for over a week!
D - The antivirals, apparently, reduce the chances of getting PHN - a really painful after-effect of shingles. Meanwhile, I'm surviving, I promise!

JoeinVegas said...

hmmm, if the blue pill makes you smaller, and you take six a day, then in three weeks you should disappear, right?