Saturday, October 15, 2005

The Not Nice Man - another tale of the neighborhood


One day, I’m in the liquor store, buying my usual brand of cheap red plonk when I spot a man holding a bouquet of burnt red Astromeria. He clutches them by the narrow end of the paper tube wrapping and holds them slightly away from himself – in the manner of a man who has just been handed his wife’s purse. He’s scanning the shelves impatiently.

It’s been a crappy day and I’ve been fighting the urge to throw myself a blow-out pity party. The sight of him hits some mushy Hallmark nerve and I blurt out, “What a nice man.”

“What?”

Someone is a lucky woman. The flowers, wine…” He stares at me, expressionless, and moves to the next aisle. After a minute, he mutters something. I move a little closer so I can hear him.

“Pardon me?”

“I said – how do you know I’m not in deep trouble?” He looks into my eyes defiantly.

“You’re right, “ I admit after pondering this for a few seconds,” You bastard!

He beams at me.

“That’s better,” he says.

3 comments:

mauser*girl said...

Why is it that I never meet interesting people like this? My last conversation at the supermarket was along the lines of, "You rung that up twice."

LJ said...

You can have the spandex cop if you like! No, no. I don't mind! Go ahead take her!

Koru's Daughter said...

Hey, mauser*girl! If you want people to say odd/interesting things to you, just prime to pump by saying odd/interesting things to them. Or next time sing "You rung that up twice" to the cashier.

Maybe my Gemini is showing but we need to play with each other (even strangers and the bastards) more.