Spring thaw. Northern Ontario. It is a long time ago and it is sunrise. I have been sitting up all night. I hear wind chimes. Thousands of wind chimes tinkling. I turn to my friend in astonishment.
“What is that sound?”
“It’s the ice breaking up on the lake. Haven’t you ever heard that before?”
I hear that sound now. At first it’s faint and far away. I listen and it gets louder. And it’s the sound of the world changing and changing again. Day, night, the rise and fall of suns and moons, the turning wheel of seasons. I am small and safe. I am here always. I am passing through.
I would forgive you but there is nothing to forgive. You took safety below the ice. You thought the light streaming in through the cracks was fire and the chimes were sounding the end of the world. And you were there, without protection. You thought I broke the ice. How could you not be afraid?
So I wait, hoping that you will see the light won’t burn and you don’t need that kind of protection.
And all that I wish you or ever have
is kindness
grace.
I want to thank everyone who commented recently. I am more grateful and touched than you can ever imagine.
6 comments:
M says good writing (or maybe the wrting we like) normally comes from bad times. And well, this is definitely more good writing.
You don't want to hear this, but I want to say it: all things must pass.
I could tell you life is suffering, but that buddhist BS would just get me in trouble.
Here's thinking of you -
--S
I do want to hear "things will pass" and I know it,S. And people always get that Buddhist thing wrong. Life IS suffering, but only when we don't let things pass. And I will.
And I'm very touched by your responses.
Sorry, those are just two addages that get me through thick and thin.
I'm glad you were touched, this stuff is pretty hard to do online, and it's doubtful I could muster your strength; and yes, you are right, I'm not so good expressing "feelings" though I do have many.
--S
Adages are adages for a reason, right?
Sometimes the truth sounds very cliche.
And yeah. I figured you did, sweetie... have the feelings.
Plod on my dear, stumble through the days. You will do it, you are strong.
What a gracious soul you are. Your writing is a perfect balance of pain and elegance - a terrible kind of beauty to experience, but how lovely to put that pain down in such kindly form.
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