Monday, September 18, 2006

Color me stupid (or Oh, the technology!)

It was a great bargain. Minor Deity personally approved all it's internal organs, canned a few options, added a little RAM, tinkered, generally with the order. It came without a new keyboard or monitor, sure - but I have those. Now, the keyboard is loaded with enough nacho fragments and toast crumbs to feed an entire village, and the monitor is a old - but I can still type and the resolution is good.

It was a terrific price for what I was getting, Minor Deity said - and he never lies about these things. It had (get this) things like: an ASUS P5LD2-VM/S-775/945G, Duel Core, 4DDR2 667, PCI-E, SATA II, Video, GB LAN & HD, Augdio/3yr. And that's only one of it's organs!

Who wouldn't be impressed?

Sure, it grumbles when it does anything. I mean, it makes a sort of complaining groan, as if it wishes I'd go away and stop demanding it do things. But I've been married, so I can live with that. And Minor Deity came back to check this curious and worrying sound and announced to me that it was just my hard drive, which, he explained, is BIGGER and FASTER and BETTER and they all make noises like that, the big boys. Oh.

And it runs my astrology program, PSP, and all my other big fat space-hogging software like a dream!

Strangely, I hadn't used Word since I got this marvel. On Sunday, I noticed that "My documents" were all showing up in Wordpad. Wordpad? I began to search "all programs" but there was no sign of a word processing program. And I'd given my old disk to MD and had to disturb him a third time to retrieve it and finish the setup.

That's when I figured out that the reason I have this Big Monster Computer for such a juicy low price is that, not only did it not have a keyboard or monitor, it didn't include the ability to speak or write English (unless you count Wordpad - and I equate that with writing in the dirt with a stick). I actually dumbed into getting a high quality PC when I could only afford a medium priced one.

But anyone, blinded by the light of such wonders as, ATI Sapphire/X550 Advantage 16x PCI-Express/256 M/TV-OUT/DVI/Retail Box could have done that!



herhimnbryn said...

Errr, yes. I think!
This piece made me smile lj after a sleepless night. Thankyou.
Fortunately I have an in house 'Techy', who loves tinkering. As I type I am aware that the screen on my laptop is degrading in that it has 5 vertical lines on the screen. This drives said techy bonkers and he's got the bits ( bits! See I am soooo technical?) to replace the screen. But I know my laptop will be left mid surgery on the dinning room table, it's organs gasping and it's entrails writhing across the table cloth for posssibly days. So, the surgery has to wait until I am brave enough to cope.

Anonymous said...

Y'know what the single most irritating thing about us Mac users is?

Our smugness.

DId I mention that my computer has been running, continuously, without crashing or being shut down, for about two straight years now? Or that one of my coworkers has had his Mac running continuously since March of 1998? Or that another friend of mine dropped her Mac laptop off the side of the escalator in Sears place, and it's fine?

(Marko scratches belly, grins)

Yep, smug. Smug assholes.


zhoen said...

I gotta admit to the smugness as well. It's worth it.

D considers keyboards disposable, having worked as an IT guy.

LJ said...

Marko? You're obnoxious, darling.
Zhoen, you're close.
Mac-this, Mac-that. Hmph.
H? You are the only one who understands my pain.

Anonymous said...

I too am a satisfied Mac owner but, fortunately, I am not smug (as I say with great patting on the back and arrogance). I just spent three days upgrading my parents' PCs with the help of my own Minor Diety.

Umberto Eco claimed that Macs were Catholic and PCs were Protestants. With the Macs, someone has done all the work of interfacing with the greater power for you, you just have to follow their way and observe the proper protocals. With a PC, you have to figure out how to connect to the great juju all by yourself.

Time to sleep - I am very tired!

Anonymous said...

P.S. The last comment was from Koru's Daughter

Jess said...

Oh, no-no-no, LJ, I understand your pain! In fact, I pre-understood your pain before you even had it! Or, wait, uh, maybe that's MY pain... or more precisely, my dread of pain which, I know for certain, would be--will be--exactly like your pain on the day my beloved laptop lurches into some irremediable crash and I am forced to go where you have been. Ew, yeah, dreading that...

Mary said...

Glad the astrology programme works.

When I got my laptop it came without Word. Fortunately the
Esteemed Further Educational organisation I worked for at the time wanted me to do some work at home, so uploaded Word, Excel & Powerpoint for me free of charge. Otherwise I was told I would have had to pay for the privilege .....

LJ said...

KD - Good old Eco, I always say! Take that!
Jess...Indeed. Have you people read Jess's accounts on "Past Tense, Future Perfect" lately? Pee your pants funny - if not to the actual writer, at least to the readers.
Mary, $200+ for the software - those robbing Bastards at Microsoft! Lucky I had disks of their gimpy stupid Microsoft Works programs - even if I did have to retrieve them from MD. And my esteemed educational institute seems to think providing me with software at work is sufficient, if you can imagine!

Minor Deity (AntiElvis) said...

And I came upon the confused user.
And lo, I removed the confusion, and it was good.
Now to remove the smugness from Mac users, because, lo, Macs doth suck.


LJ said...

Guffaw! Take that you Computer Catholics!

phlegmfatale said...

All I know is next time I'm going to bite the bullet and get the whole nine yards from Dell.