Monday, September 18, 2006


Zhoen's tag for "Middle-aged meme. If you feel no longer young, but not yet old..."

What I'll never do & that's ok:

Enter a relationship for money, status or security.
Have children.
Have plastic surgery.
Save the world.
Be middle-aged again. Unless we consider 116 to be the average life-span.

What I have done, and would like to do again:

Publish something that really matters to me
Be self-employed
Live in a place where there is the view of trees from all the windows
Be obsessed with learning something new
Be scared to say the truth and say it anyway.
Be absolutely present in the moment.
Spend hours walking in the woods and by the ocean.
Forgive myself for being human, and therefore imperfect.
Laugh with a friend until we can't sit up straight.

What I've done and will have to do again:

Ride the number 20 bus for seventy minutes to travel 7 miles.
Be "on" when I want to retreat to a cave.
Try to accept that while I love to be partnered, part of me always ends up feeling caged.
Work for someone else.
Accept the bitterness in the world without becoming bitter.
Taxes, setting up a new computer, doing laundry, washing dishes (on and on)
Dissuade myself of the notion that the world needs saving.
Remind myself that it isn't all about ME.

What I won't do again:

(Like Mary in "A Breath of Air) - I won't say "yes" when I mean "no."
Apologize for needing a lot of time alone.
Apologize for loving anyone.
Have bad, indifferent or casual sex - or think I should be "past all that."
Favor my mind's decisions when my gut feelings are screaming "NO."
Forget to question all societal notions of How Things Are.
Fail to appreciate touch or love - in any guise or form.
Stop writing.

What I still may get to do:

See the desert. Arizona's sunsets.
Know why.
Be self-employed.
Grow old ungracefully, full of piss and vinegar.
Accept myself and everyone else without reservation or judgment.
Write ten million more words on this blog.
Have all the beads and findings in the entire world.
Be a good friend.
Be at peace.


zhoen said...

I recommend the sunsets, Arizona or otherwise.

Sunrises are underrated, and just as wonderful.

chuck said...


Mary said...

Middle aged is VERY flexible ... I personally plan to live to 150.

You and me both for Arizona.

I love this. I knew I would. Good stuff, particularly that bit about being absolutely present in the moment.

LJ said...

Z,C,M...oh how I could have gone on. I've been adding to the lists all day. Not out loud.

Z. I'm all for sunrises. I'm an equal-opportunity sky person. It's just...Arizona. Arizona. Any time of day.

C. Let's see your meme!

M. Too funny. We have Arizona-fantasies in common too??

herhimnbryn said...

Thnaks lj. Yep, being present and a good friend.
I really must sit down and do this.

phlegmfatale said...

This is lovely.
Oh, and the trip to Arizona? Worth it JUST for the sunsets, and not considering all the other countless breathtaking experiences waiting there.

OH< and I am besotted with The Canticle for Leibowitz - haven't had much time so I'm only about a quarter-way through it, but it's an astonishing read. LOVE it. Thanks for mentioning it to me - I'd never heard of it. So many books, so little time!

Yasser Rahman said...

WOW! you seem to have done a lot.. and , well, Im just lost for words..

Its the been there done that feeling, Just beauitufull :)

jess said...

LJ, you did such a great job on this meme, I didn't even want to post mine. Did anyway, since blog posts are fairly hard to come by at my place... ;-)

Patry Francis said...

What a great list. I'd almost like to link it with a ditto...but I suppose that would be cheating.