Friday, May 18, 2007

Country and Western songs


The phone rings at 8:57 a.m. - but only once. It rings again at 10:00 a.m. and this time he doesn't hang up. By then, I assume, he's taken the requisite number of deep breaths and stiffened his resolve so that, after a long and almost entirely happy relationship of two and a half years, he can announce that we have not been very happy and now it's over.

He phoned it in. That's all I can think about. Two and a half years and he phoned it in.

It is, I think, the second time I have ever let him see me angry. Or more accurately, hear me angry. I don't argue or point out that we have one of these every six months and the rest of the time we are overjoyed to see each other.

"I hoped we could be friends, " he says, "but you don't sound friendly, and I guess that's understandable right now...."

Friends. Does a friend dump you on the phone? Doesn't feel very friendly to me. Feels downright sleazy, in fact.

And now, onward and hopefully upward - pushing off on my three unbalanced wheels, I'll just be continuing with the diagram and directions from hell.

14 comments:

goatman said...

I was never very good with this stuff in high school and I'm even worse at it now (tend to avoid), but I wish you happiness nonetheless.

Koru's Daughter said...

My favorite C&W song title is: "If I shot him when I met him, I would be out of jail by now."

herhimnbryn said...

Push him into the abyss? And then skip away:)

LJ said...

Thanks Goatman.
Good thought but it's that old 20/20 hinsight thing, huh KD?
Herhimnbryn - He got there first with the pushing, I'm afraid. Pass me a flashlight, would you?

Ariel said...

Aw, Linda... what a shit! What is it with men being unable to face us when it matters most? Do we scare them? The current objection of my affection did something similar by... text, last October. Not a call, not a letter, not an e-mail but a text. But somehow we weathered it. The reason he chose this method? I scared him, and apparently still have the potential to do so. Maybe it's a redhead thing? Oh, and if we're talking country, then my favourite song has to be "Circus Girl" by Gretchen Peters - self-explanatory.

jessie said...

"I hoped we could be friends, " he says, "but you don't sound friendly, and I guess that's understandable right now...."

WTF!!! Zhoen is right, he wants to roll away on all four wheels, the rational one, all smooth and right and reasonable and pointing the finger at you wobbling off into the ditch. You're nowhere near angry enough yet. When you are, you'll need a whole new set of labels!

LJ said...

Oh, Jess...I was angry. I just didn't vent it out here. He called later to ask if I was okay. He had his I'm-perfectly-fine-and
-a-reasonable-adult voice on and asked if I was ok. I replied, "How I am is no longer your business." And I hung up. Who does he think he is? My social worker. I was so furious I was shaking. God only knows what that bead pattern will look like when I read in a calmer state. I cried off and on all bloody day and cursed him roundly.
Ariel...I don't want to patch it this time. He broke my heart, he broke my trust - and not in leaving but in doing it in such a shitty cowardly way. And I'm moving on.

Edvard Moonke said...

I'm a believer in second chances... but then what do I know?

LJ said...

Edvaard, this is not the first time something like this has happened. I believe in second chances too. And third and fourth ones. I wasn't the one to break it off.

herhimnbryn said...

Oh, lj (((((((0)))))))) XO

zhoen said...

I did not want to be right. Not this time. I am sorry, however needful, still damn painful. Still, better out than in.

I used to have a card, with an elegant cow, in peals, with martini. Said "Best thing about a break up - don't have to put up with the same old bull anymore."

jessie said...

I used to have the card (still do, I'm sure) that says "Living well is the best revenge." That thought sustained me after my first marriage ended, until one day it hit me I actually was living well, much better, in fact, than if I'd stayed in the marriage.

So, he dumps you on the phone, and then he calls up and invites you to stay dependent on him? I am loving the part where you hung up on that deal! Live well, LJ!

Kate said...

I hate these moments of disappointment. Everyone can fall out of love, but to say so on the phone...that makes me mad. In these situations I just put them in a little glass box - you'll never get rid of the sight of them, but at least they can't touch you anymore! All the best.x

phlegmfatale said...

Gosh, sorry he was so phone-it-innish - He must be on some big 6-month hormonal swing thingie. Yeah, I remember him doing this not long ago. He's not got a good grip, has he?